The Romance That Is In Vitro Fertilization.
One of my former law firm colleagues is ready to have another baby, and since her spouse had banked some of his genetic material before being treated for testicular cancer, this means another trip to the fertility clinic.Strangely, one of my colleagues decided this is a romantic plan.
As is typical, I decided to interpret my perception of the romance. As with many of my more lengthy humor commentaries, I did not expect to receive any reply to my message. (Sometimes, months or years later, my friends tell me how witty the message was. More often, no one remarks. In the good old days, my girlfriends would come to my [law office] office door, bow down, and repeat 'we are not worthy!' until I laughed. Ah, the good ol' days.)
My commentary:
His eyes drifted longingly over her loose-fitting hospital gown. He wished she was wearing the one with little hearts on it, instead of the blue one. Though the blue one did seem to bring out something exciting in her eyes. There was a Hallmark poster of lit candles on the wall above the sink and beside the rubber glove dispenser. "Darling?"Much to my surprise, the hopeful mother-to-be said my assessment of the romance level is pretty close to her experience.
"Yes?" She said, suggestively putting both feet in the gynecology stirrups.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes!" She said breathily, with zeal, as he carefully revealed an enormous… test tube. It sparkled in the bright, fluorescent lighting of the fertility clinic. "I am SO ready!"
All fifteen of the attending staff at the clinic then entered the room, as Frank Sinatra wafted in through the PA system.
Etc.
I would feel vindicated if I weren't slightly alarmed.
Labels: health, I cannot stop writing
posted by Arlene (Beth)9:32 PM
